About Me

I am a stay at home mother of two. I have a 17 year old daughter and a 13 year old son. I am 39 years old, yikes, did I just admit that!!

I have been overweight most my life. My weight problems started in my early teens. I didn't have many friends and ate to 'make myself feel better'. I was overweight in high school and never had any dates (not one!) After I went to college my roommate set me up on a blind date with her ex-boyfriend. We hit it off almost immediately. On our third date (December 26, 1987) he asked me to marry him. We were married less than two months later on Feb. 20, 1988. My husband was and still is my best friend. He loves me for who I am on the inside and has never cared about the size of my outer shell.

When I married my husband I was approximately a size 12 or 14. A few years later I got pregnant with my daughter. I had toxemia with her and literally ballooned up. My whole body felt like I was a huge water balloon. I couldn't even wear shoes and had to wear slippers if I went out. When I was 5 1/2 months pregnant I started experiencing severe abdominal pains. I thought I was going into premature labor and went to the hospital immediately. I was diagnosed with multiple gallstones and sent to a surgeon for a consultation.

He gave me two options. Option 1 was to have immediate surgery (the regular kind, not the laproscopy because of the potential injury to my baby) but the surgery itself carried a 60-70% chance of losing my baby anyway. If I didn't lose the baby I would have to spend the remainder of my pregnancy in the hospital. Option 2--Basically do nothing. Suffer the gallbladder attacks and hope for a healthy full term baby. I chose option #2 as I could not bear the chance of losing my baby. At first the attacks were once to twice a week. I quickly learned what foods triggered an attack and avoided them. As my baby grew the attacks came more and more often. During the last month I had attacks daily. It didn't matter what I ate or did. I would have attacks just because she moved and pressed on my gallbladder. I ended up delivering her 8 days before my due date because my blood pressure was rising too quickly. I had gained a total of 19 pounds while pregnant. Thus began my journey into bigger clothes as I never quite got back in my pre-pregnancy clothes.

After I had my daughter my gallbladder attacks stopped as quickly as they had started. I didn't have another attack until she was 15 months old. I thought I was going to die!! I had forgotten how painful they were--I was very surprised that I had been able to tolerate them while pregnant. I think the only thing that had kept me going was the fact that I knew there was a reason for what I was going through. Two weeks later I had surgery to have my gallbladder removed. It started as a laproscopy, but some complications arose during my surgery. I ended up having to be opened up (with what my husband calls my smiley face scar) and spend a week instead of overnight in the hospital.

Four months after my surgery my little family was involved in a roll over accident. We all had some bad injuries ranging from bruises to broken bones and whiplash to my daughter who started having seizures from a head injury. Needless to say it was a stressful time and I ate whatever we had on hand. During this time I gained even more weight.

About one year later I became pregnant with my son. I only gained 15 pounds during my pregnancy (but had him 3 weeks after my due date!). I tried and tried the best I could to lose enough weight to get back into my clothes, but alas it never happened and I gave into buying bigger clothes yet again.

Over the next 10 years I would try Weight Watchers on several occasions. Each time I lost some weight but then something would happen and I would quit. One time I quit was after our second car accident. I had some lower back injuries and had to go to physical therapy, etc. Once again I ate to try to make myself feel better as the pain was unbearable. Other times I quit because of what I call pure stupidity. I decided I wanted to eat what I wanted to eat more than I wanted to feel good. (Hopefully I have my head screwed back on tight and won't do that ever again!)

So, now we are up to the current time. I am still having lower back pains--I have spasms that will stop me in my tracks. I can hardly stand to sit in the benches at my church on Sunday. There are everyday activities I can't do because I will not be able to move for days afterwards if I do. I guess I had finally reached a point where enough was enough! I am too young to spend my whole life in pain. I am sick and tired of not being able to do the things I want to do. So, I decided that I needed to lose some weight so that I can try to feel better. Not only feel better physically--I know the pain will probally not ever go away completely--but to feel better about myself on the inside too.

I can't believe how much better I feel just losing that much weight. I do indeed feel lighter. I have a little bit more lilt in my step. I have days where I can go a whole day without a back spasm. I have even started exercising--not a lot, but it's a start. Some days are better than others. I have a treadmill and I will walk on it. Some days I make it for 10 minutes, but one day I made it for 45 minutes--that day I felt great!!

This website is a work in progress. So have patience with me and with my website as it is a labor of love. I hope that anyone who reads this can get encouragement, greater understanding or maybe just a good chuckle or a 'yeah, me too'.

UPDATE-On May 2, 2005 I was involved in another accident. I had just exited off the freeway and was stopped at a red light waiting to turn right. As I waited I was rear ended and pushed into traffic. Luckily the oncoming traffic didn't hit my car! But, my back spasms are back (big frown) and I am trying really hard not to stress eat like I did before. Hopefully I can heal quickly and the spasms will get less and less as time goes by.

UPDATE--September 8, 2006 I MADE GOAL TODAY!!!! Yes, I am excited--I am still trying to believe that I have actually done it. Now I start a new journey of learning to maintain what I have accomplished. Looking back on all the changes that I have had happen in the past two years is amazing to me. My cholesterol has gone from 238 to 151. My blood pressure has lowered, I am having less migraines and I can breath easier. I have also stopped having daily back spasms. I haven't had a back spasm since Feb 2006 after I took a fall down some stairs.

UPDATE--October 16, 2006 I MADE LIFETIME TODAY!!!! Yes, I am still on cloud nine. I still can't believe that I have finished this part of my journey. I wonder if it will ever sink in that I have learned a new way of life. Maintaince has been going well and I think I found a comfortable range for me to live within. I am still tracking everything I eat, I get my 8 healthy guidelines in almost every day. I exercise almost every day too. I have gone from not being able to walk for 5 minuts without a back spasm to taking walks for 60-90 minutes at a time. I have tried jogging and am still trying to decide if I like it or not. I also like to ride my recumbant bike, lift weights, rollerblade, swim and much more.

Update--Feb. 5, 2008 My dad died today at the young age of 63. We will not know (if at all) the cause of death for 6-8 weeks.

Update--July 30, 2008 Okay...looks like I haven't updated in awhile. Got the results of my dad's autopsy...they said it was cardiovascular disease and complications of diabetes. I did pretty good for awhile after his death but the last few months I just can't seem to keep it together with my eating and such. I will do good for awhile and then completely fall apart and go back to my old habits. I then have to give myself a good talking to and try to pull myself out of it. I hope I can get my act completely together soon!!